Transitions...not so easy

Colt and I have had Cash in our home for 2 weeks now. We thought we were adjusting just fine. I was getting up during the night to do feedings (Colt helping out where he could), taking turns changing diapers and hanging out, etc...but today we had a hard dose of reality. Colt went back to school yesterday and is gone every day now. I get to stay home but I realize how much I relied on the company of him and his assistance. Colt came home today exhausted, the lack of consistent sleep has caught up to him and I have been overwhelmed with being alone and having only Cash to watch over. I never thought not working would affect me the way it has. I guess since I have been working, having a job all of my life, being on maternity leave now is totally new and somewhat unnerving.

Aside from figuring out our daily schedules, I realize that there is still so much to learn. You just hope that you are doing the right things and pray that your child is happy. It is overwhelming and scary and confidence goes out the window. Then there is that moment when you look at your child and realize he is so amazing and then you think maybe it is all worth it.

Perhaps this is how parenting is. You think you have the hang of it and then BAM! your confidence is shaken to the core and you question everything...until you realize that you are maybe not as terrible as you think you are. I must say it is an adventure but one I am happy to be on.

Calvin Cash Crane is by far the cutest baby ever...

So, it has finally happened! Cash came as an early Christmas present to his mom and dad, considering that Michelle's due date wasn't until January 3, but Cash just couldn't wait to be born. I think he wanted to open some presents himself on Christmas morning! Our baby boy was born on December 20, 2009 at 11:42 p.m. He weighed in at 7 pounds 10 ounces and 20 inches in length with a pretty glorious head of auburn-colored hair.

Sunday afternoon on December 20, Michelle began having contractions less than 5 minutes apart and so we decided to go to the hospital just to be safe. We expected them to send us right back home, but Michelle had gone into natural labor and was admitted around 3:00 p.m.

At 11:42 later that night, little Cash came into our lives after about 10 hours of labor. Michelle had a perfect delivery and we feel blessed to have such a precious boy in our family. We stayed in the hospital for the next two days and were able to come home Tuesday afternoon. Kota has been very curious about his new friend but is being a very good dog and not getting too jealous.

Cash sleeps alot and I've noticed that he tends to sleep like me: with his right arm above his head and his left arm across his chest. It has been a very humbling and spiritually uplifting week for us and I can honestly say that I have never been so tired and so happy at the same time!

Michelle is recovering well and has never looked more beautiful than she does now. We are blessed to share a wonderful love between us and now we have a little boy to share that love with!